We lost our "little lima bean"

by Jennifer L.

My husband and I got married September 2005. Right before we had our wedding we both decided to start trying for a baby. We thought maybe we would come back from our honeymoon to find that I was pregnant, but it wasn't that quick!

In December I had to be on some IV antibiotics for Lyme disease, so during that time we stopped trying. Once the doctor gave us the ok to start trying again we did. In February my period was late, so I took a test and I got a POSITIVE. We were so excited and anxious and nervous. I took about 3 more tests just to make sure and they all came back POSITIVE.

We had our first OB check up in the beginning of March. They gave me my first ultra sound and we were able to see the baby, which we called our little lima bean! We saw the heart beating and everything. My due date was October 25th. We left there glowing because we were so happy.

About 4 days later I came down with a nasty 24 hour stomach virus. I was really scared so I made sure I called the OB and they told me as long as i stopped throwing up in 24 hours not to be worried. The next day the throwing up had stopped so I felt relaxed again.

That saturday is when i first saw the blood. I thought maybe it was just a bit of spotting, because i knew women sometimes spotted early in their pregnancies. I tried to not get too freaked out but when sunday came and i was needed to wear a pad for the blood I started really getting upset. We called the doctor's office and they paged the doctor for me. He said since I was not having any pains not to worry, but to call Monday morning so they could have me come in and make sure everything was alright.

I cried the entire rest of the weekend. I think deep down I knew something was very wrong. We went in the the doctors office Monday morning and she did an ultrasound. There was our little lima bean, but there was no heartbeat anymore. She didn't even have to say anything because we could see on the monitor that we had lost our baby. It was the hardest thing for me. I still get upset thinking about it and I still wonder why.

We have been trying to get pregnant again for 4 months now and nothing yet. I would love to get pregnant again so I am just waiting now. Nothing is sadder than losing a baby.