I felt like something was detaching

by Samantha

After a few months of being married I started to feel very, very tired. As soon as my head hit the pillow I would be completely unconscious.  I started to get very hungry, and my body would feel so weak that keeping my head upright was a task.  When I visited the doctor I was told I was pregnant.

I had never been more scared and happy at the same time as I was then, but I had so many complications that I was told my chances of miscarriage were very high.  Due to that I rested the majority of the time and ate as much as I could so that my baby would survive.  I overcame that chance and was perfectly fine.  I suffered from back pains and a lot of pressure on the lower part of my stomach.

One night when I was sleeping I woke up and felt as if something was detaching itself from me, and my heart was sinking.  My backache was completely gone and my stomach started flattening from the front.  This happened for two nights so the third day I decided to go to the doctors.  The doctor was doing her check up and told me she felt the baby kick but couldn't detect the heartbeat and told me to go for an emergency ultrasound, which I did.

After the ultrasound I was told to wait outside.  When my name was called I was told to answer a phone while the lady who did my ultrasound was printing something behind me.  I was told on the phone by family doctor that my baby was dead.  The woman printing just faced her back towards me while I was standing there not knowing what to do.  That was my first child who I wanted more than anything in the world.

I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy even though I had been told it was a girl.  Now each day I sit and think about how many days I have left till the due date and how it would have been, what I would have done.  I run all these thoughts through my head.  What keeps me going is that my son is in heaven playing with angels, and I pray that soon I am blessed once again with a chance to have another baby.

Now all I need is for every person to pray for me, and I pray that God gives every person happiness.